top of page

Want to change a habit?

Writer's picture: Tara BentallTara Bentall

Generally speaking, your habits will feel right to you, they are what you always do and so they feel comfortable, familiar and just, well, right.


So what happens when you want to make a change? It may well bring up uncomfortable feelings, or it might feel great straight away.


When my clients go through change they often feel some or all of the following:

Tension, discomfort, light-headedness, release, relief, changes of balance, a sense of lightness, ease, they feel taller, calmer, anxiety and pain may come up, joy, accomplishment, emotional release, happier, lighter, etc.


Overall people tend to feel their life is easier, calmer, more free and mobile than before they made a change.

But be warned though. Your feelings can't be your guide!

Feelings can be misleading when you want to make a change. Remember habits feel right and comfortable, change is moving into the unknown and can feel strange and even wrong.


This isn’t to say ignore your feelings in all things. We still need to listen to our intuition to guide us through life. It’s incredibly important to listen to yourself and understand how you feel but feelings can be a poor guide for making change.


Picture the man who is suffering with depression, his feelings tell him to stay in bed, eat crisps, biscuits, pizza and beer, watch Netflix, leave the curtains shut, not bother answering the phone or the door, tidy up tomorrow and give up on his goals and ambitions, they are just too hard. His feelings tell him to sit in a collapsed slump with shallow breathing.


A positive change for him might be along the lines of eating well, socialising, exercising, standing tall with open lungs in fresh air, spending time in nature, making steps towards his own personal goals and dreams.


Each step on the road to these changes may feel unfamiliar and so mildly, or even severely, uncomfortable. It might feel wrong at first even though it’s a change for the better. It may be scary or seem to demand energy or effort even though it is a much easier way to live. The feelings mislead. Even though the changes lead to increased happiness they are unlikely to be what he feels like doing straight away.


But once he’s made the changes he will feel the benefit, the release, the ease, the joy. Our feelings reward us after we make the positive change. Our intellect guides us to the change we need to make. Our thought processes are what help us to make positive change.


It is our choice which allows us to make change. Our conscious control of ourselves. How we choose to manage ourselves is something we can learn as a skill set and a tool.


Habits feel right. Change can feel wrong.


This includes habits of how you carry yourself, how you respond to stress and relationship, how you manage your life in general. When we learn this on an embodied level it becomes easier to understand and relate to the rest of our choices.


Physically adjusting to a new balance and coordination can be a challenge. It can feel wrong, misbalanced, out of place. This is a common experience and one to be welcomed as it means change is taking place.


Let your choice lead the way not your feelings.


You can choose now to release excess muscle tension in order to expand and lengthen to your full height and stature.

The feelings of lightness and freedom that come up are the by-products of the thinking. If you aim for the feelings of lightness and freedom you are likely to use your habits to try and get there. Your habits might include using excess tension or making some kind of extra effort, this usually leads to more tightening and stiffening! So stick to using your mental power to gently request less tension and ask for length in yourself from your head to feet and back again.


If you would like any help to make changes in your life get in touch now and find out

how I can help you too.

14 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page